In today’s dating world, we have become so obsessed with spotting red flags that somewhere along the way, we forgot to talk about green flags too.

We got so busy figuring out what to avoid that we forgot to ask, ‘What should I actually look for?’

And the funny thing is, green flags are rarely loud. They are usually quiet.

1. They can change their mind.
   Can they learn, unlearn and say, “I was wrong”? If someone isn’t willing to grow, eventually the relationship stops growing too.
2. Being honest doesn’t feel scary.
   You shouldn’t have to rehearse every sentence or worry that one honest conversation will ruin everything.
3. Difficult conversations don’t feel like a breakup.
   Every couple disagrees. The green flag is not never fighting. It is knowing that even when things get uncomfortable, you are still on the same team.
4. You don’t feel like you have to perform.
   With your partner, you should be able to have boring, lazy and sad days. You don’t always have to be funny, interesting or ‘on’. Sometimes just existing together should be enough.
5. They make room for your wins and your struggles.
   A secure person celebrates your happiness without making it a competition. And when things are difficult, they don’t make you feel like you are ‘too much.’

And then, pay attention to your body.

If you have spent years around chaos and inconsistency, calm can sometimes feel strange. Even boring. That doesn’t always mean something is missing. Sometimes your body is simply learning what safety feels like.

We have normalised chaos so much that peace can feel suspicious. Not every relationship needs to be a rollercoaster. Maybe we have spent so much time chasing butterflies that we forgot to notice how good it feels to finally breathe.

Sometimes, the biggest green flag is simply feeling safe.