Everything that you need to know about Premarital Counselling.

Are you nervous about everything that happens after marriage? Even if you are not, premarital counselling should be in your to-do list before getting married. Not only it gives you an idea about how is your life going to be after marriage, but shall also help you in setting your expectations from your partner. According to a research, the divorce rate falls by around 30% between the couples who have taken premarital counselling and the rest.

Priya was engaged to a well to do guy in Mumbai, and was all set to shift from Delhi for her marriage within the span of six months. Her husband, Piyush wanted to visit the counsellor before they marry believing that precaution is better than cure. There were a lot of things about Piyush, that Priya would not have known otherwise and vice versa.

In one of the sessions, they happened to discuss stuff, upon which they had contradictory opinions. They went home, learning the best possible, keeping in mind their personalities to come to a conclusion, while in the other, they got to know about each other’s sexual expectations.

Counselling is not just for the ones who seem to have problems during their pre-marriage phase, it is for all. There are a lot of things, that one understands only after living with one another. And counselling is scientifically understanding the most common things that come in the way, and working on them beforehand.

Priya got to know about the challenges that she might face in regards to shifting to a new city, and Piyush got an idea about everything Priya was insecure/anxious about. Piyush decided to visit a premarital counsellor so that he could be a good support in dealing with everything that might come in Priya’s way. In Understanding each other’s habits and ways of making the other person understand what he/she is trying to convey, were a few mental blocks that both of them gained victory over.

But not just that, we also need to understand that premarital counselling doesn’t mean end of conflicts. If there are two different individuals planning to live their life in a certain way, conflicts are bound to happen, it is more about understanding each other in a particular way, so that it isn’t very late until we understand the problem, or the situation doesn’t get chaotic enough for the marriage to end.

The best thing about both Priya and Piyush was that they were quite frank and open about each other’s opinion upon things that were taken up for discussion. They planned as to how they would manage their finances, and what they think about kids, along with understanding their viewpoints about religion and family.

Most of all, they realised that they would grow with time, and it is okay to not agree with something that they discuss during the sessions in the future, and embrace the vulnerability of each other.

Premarital counselling also takes away all the negativity that you have about your partner that you could not discuss about. You tend to open up, and push boundaries a little farther than otherwise. And because it makes you dig deep into each other’s personalities we also need to understand, it won’t be easy. It is always beneficial to keep the blame-game aside, and not think about winning or losing but winning together.

I hope that you are like Priya and Piyush who understood the need of understanding each other better, and found a tangible solution to it. And not just that, you now also have a clearer understanding of what premarital counselling is, and this article was helpful to you. So, instead of feeling nervous and anxious about everything you should do after you are engaged, you shall be full of yourself and enjoy the happy-phase.